HARLEQUINS: BUMBLEBEE MAN
These entertainers are a hugely popular TV fixture who always draw a massive audience. Yet an undeniable element of slapstick self-destruction always seems to lurk just around the corner. Generally get booted up the backside at least once or twice a season.
WORCESTER: MARTIN PRINCE
Behold! These fresh-faced, plucky newcomers get top marks for keeping their nose clean and playing by the rules. Sure, they’re constantly in danger of getting their trunks yoinked down by some of the older or physically stronger operators around, but they seemingly always survive to fight another day.
NEWCASTLE: TROY MCCLURE
Troy McClure is renowned as a hugely successful star of the past whose glory days are long behind him. Subsequent attempts to reinvent himself never seemed to work out. Hi, I’m Newcastle! You may remember from such successes as the first Premiership season!
NORTHAMPTON SAINTS: DR NICK RIVIERA
Hi everybody! Northampton might be Springfield’s hapless medical practitioner Dr. Nick during a surgical procedure: They know they have all the right tools and resources for success, but they don’t really know how to best use them.
Bristol Bears: Nelson Muntz
Oof. Traditionally, these are the local bruisers nobody wants to encounter on the school playing fields, as they take delight in giving a wedgie to more established names. Yet a lot of storylines of late seem to revolve around them being reformed or refined and – while we’re never convinced it’ll stick – it’s left them a bit confused as to exactly what their role is. I guess we will have to wait and see.