With the election result tonight, RUCK imagines an election contested by leading rugby coaches.
Eddie Jones
Campaign slogan: Arrogance is only bad when you lose.
Say what you like about the sometimes controversial head coach, but he’s solid as a rock in defence. With his Aussie wit and willingness to say what he thinks bluntly, he’d be great value at Prime Minister’s Questions. Jones also goes out of his way to bring talented young people through the system.
Warren Gatland
Campaign slogan: For the Welsh, not the English
A stubborn operator, he would make Maggie Thatcher seem a beacon of consultation and consensus politics. His ‘Warrenball’ approach with politics nevertheless means he may be forceful with Brexit negotiations, which would hopefully end well. Ten Downing Street would also be picked up and moved to Cardiff along with Big Ben and Park Lane.
Joe Schmidt
Campaign slogan: Warrenball isn’t working
The Kiwi’s ability to shake things up and blood young talent suggests he’d hit the ground running as PM, in the manner of Tony Blair’s breathless first 100 days. His recruitment of talented foreigners such as CJ Stander could change our foreign policy for the better. His good relationship with his players suggests he would be able to form a stable frontbench.