Most of the time, nicknames in sport are pretty unimaginative and formulaic—Johnno, Faz and Sincks didn't take an awful lot of thought.
For this reason, we must celebrate the instances when nicknames are creative, funny or downright bizarre.
Using the highly empirical ranking system of which make me chuckle the most, here are the 30 best nicknames in world rugby. I'm sure to have missed out a few, so leave your suggestions in the comments…
#30. Lewis Moody - Mad Dog
A nickname that perfectly summed up its recipient’s approach to the game.
#29. David Pocock - Bam Bam
Pocock was regarded as one of the top physical specimens in the game, earning this Flintstones-related nickname.
#28. Jerry Collins - The Terminator
The Terminator: “I’ll be back” wasn’t something you wanted to hear from Jerry Collins once he’d tackled you, because once was enough for anyone. The All Black flanker terminated so many attacks in his time.
#27. Austin Healey - Leicester Lip
It’s his outspoken nature and often controversial comments that has seen former Tigers favourite Austin Healy so dubbed. He’s become someone who has particularly raised the hackles of Welsh fans.
#26. Martin Johnson - Ferengi
Not the most flattering of nicknames. It was England captains furrowed brow frown that saw the England and Lions skipper likened to the extraterrestrial race from the Star Trek universe.
#25. Liam Williams - Sanjay
It was while he was on holiday in Greece as a small boy that another British family reckoned the Saracens-bound star looked like Sanjay Kapoor, the former market trader from Eastenders! The name stuck.
#24. Jason Robinson - Billy Whizz
Robinson is nicknamed 'Billy Whizz' after a character in the British comic The Beano, who is an extremely fast runner. Seems a good choice!
#23. Robbie Henshaw - One man band
His musical and sporting versatility have earned him the nickname “One Man Band” and “Old Man Bob Henshaw” amongst his teammates. His family has a lot of musical talent, with Henshaw himself playing the accordion, fiddle, guitar and piano.
#22. Elliot Daly - Briefcase
The England star got his nickname after turned up at his first Wasps training session in his Whitgift school uniform and carrying you know what!
#21. Jonathan Davies - Fox
With his parents having run the Fox & Hounds pub in Bancyfelin, Wales centre Jonathan Davies was destined to be known as Fox. Inevitably, his younger brother James is the Cub!
#20. Hamish Watson - Pinball
The nickname is in reference to his unique running style which sees him bounce off several players over a short distance whilst carrying the ball.
#19. Antoine Dupont - Le Ministre de L’Interieur (The Minister of the Interior)
#18. James Haskell - The Unflushable Turd
Joe Marler said: "Despite being embroiled in a number of off-the-pitch controversies over the years and falling foul of various regimes, the unflushable turd has repeatedly bounced back."
James Haskell (England) and Anthony Watson (England) at the end of the game. England v Ireland. RBS 6 Nations. Twickenham Stadium. Twickenham. London. UK. 27/02/2016. ~ MANDATORY CREDIT Garry Bowden/SIPPA/PPAUK - NO UNAUTHORISED USE - +447837 394578
#17. Kwagga Smith – Wrong Turn
His nose resembles the character from the horror movie ‘Wrong Turn’. Brutally brilliant.
#16. Marmuka Gorgodze - Gorgodzilla
Yes. Nothing more to say.
#15. Tadhg Furlong - Rikishi
The Irish tight-head says of his nickname: "My belly gets a good flash on national television.
"It came up in the video review, Joe Schmidt said "Oh, here comes WWF...", not even WWE so, WWF, we're going back a few years. And of course the lads jumped on the bandwagon and started calling me Rikishi, the big fat wrestler!"
#14. Oriel Ripol - Raspberry
#13. John Eales - Nobody
Because nobody is perfect.
#12. Brodie Retallick - Guzzler
Another with no clear origin or reason as to how he earned the nickname. Probably related to beer though.
#11. Vincent Koch – Mr Incredible
The resemblance is uncanny.
CONTINUES ON PAGE THREE
#10. Sebastien Chabal - Sea Bass
French fans dubbed him L’Homme des Cavernes (The Caveman) for his big beard and ferocious approach. But, at Sale, Sebastian Chabal became Sea Bass, a shortening of his christian name.
#9. Keith Wood - Uncle Fester/Raging Potato
He was known as 'Uncle Fester' due to his resemblance to a character in The Addams Family. Maybe a tad harsh.
#8. Matt Cairns - The Bollock
"Another simple one. He has a shiny bald head that look like a shiny, bald, bollock."
#7. Brian Lima - The Chiropractor
He earned the memorable nickname of "The Chiropractor" for his shuddering hits both on and off the pitch that supposedly rearranged the bones of the victim.
#6. Nick Cummins - Honey Badger
This was the nickname bestowed on larger-than-life Wallaby winger Nick Cummins after he drew inspiration from the fierce nature of the animal and attempted to think like it in defence.
#5. Cameron Redpath - Boom Boom
Bryan Redpath's nickname as a player was "Basil" and whilst at Sale his son was given the nickname "boom boom" as a result due to the association with the children’s television character Basil Brush.
#4. Steven Kitshoff – Spicy Plum
#3. Jason Leonard - Fun Bus
When barrel-chested, fun-loving England prop Justin Leonard trundled onto the field wearing a red shirt in one game, fellow forward Martin Bayfield said he looked like a London bus! Thus, the name fun bus was born!
#2. Billy Twelvetrees - 36
Allocated by the Irish players apparently during the 2013 Lions tour, because twelve trees are thirty six.
#1. Ian McLauchan - Mighty Mouse
His nickname "Mighty Mouse" was from the fact that he was relatively small for a prop, but powerful for his size, like the cartoon character of the same name.
