We all know it. It’s only a matter of time before the zombie apocalypse begins, and so with that morbid fact in mind, we here at RUCK would like to let you know which rugby players might survive to play another day.
10. James Haskell
James Haskell has excellent stamina, and strength, which would come in handy during a zombie apocalypse, but his unwillingness to give up his Instagram and Twitter may ultimately be his downfall.. One simply can not be distracted during a zombie apocalypse.
9. Bakkies Botha
Botha's rugby rap sheet reads like the screenplay to a horror film:
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- "Deliberately attacking the face" (eight-week suspension)
- Stamping (yellow card)
- Alleged eye-gouging (nine-match ban)
- Striking (three-match ban)
- Dangerous charge (two-week ban)
- Dangerous clearout (four-week suspension)
- Headbutting (nine-week suspension)
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The zombies aren't going to play fair, so you shouldn't either. Why not take up with someone who can show you a dirty move or two? Or seven.
8. Sebastien Chabal
TotalProSports.com names Chabal as in the history of rugby. And he sure looks the part, doesn't he? In his native France he's known as
L'Homme des cavernes. Yeah, you guessed it: Caveman.
See Sebastien decimate anything in his path with the intensity of a class 5 twister. See him turn some of the burliest men on the planet to quivering boys.
While the undead don't seem to emote fear, they will at least be inconvenienced as Chabal clears a path for you with one of his signature charges and sends them flying like so many bowling pins.
7. Richie McCaw
He'd take his family in a helicopter and fly them to safety. With his leadership skills he could be the President of the new world. Who better?
6. Semesa Rokoduguni
Military background? Check. You need his experience in your crew.
5. Beauden Barrett
In a zombie apocalypse, you DO NOT want to be near too many other people. And perhaps no one in the world of rugby is better at finding space than the All Black fly-half. If his ability on the field translated to the barren fields of a post-apocalyptic world, he would be just fine.
4. Chris Ashton
Zombies would be much more afraid of being bitten by Ashton than he would be of them.
3. Eben Etzebeth
Towering over fellow man—both the living and the undead—Chara is a 6'9" bruiser with "appetites for destruction" moods. Get him riled up and he's likely to single-handedly take apart a who platoon of walking corpses. Plus, look at those biceps.
2. Johnny Sexton
Someone in your band of survivors is bound to get injured and there's nothing worse than being faced with the noble decision to leave no man behind and the more pragmatic decision to save your own skin.
That's why you want to team up with dudes that can take an injury and still not slow you down. Scans revealed that fly-half Johnny Sexton played the British and Irish Lions’ final Test against New Zealand with a broken wrist and ruptured ankle tendon, making him a good choice for your crew.
1. Owen Farrell
We imagine that the Saracens fly-half would look something like this in the event of a zombie apocalypse. Last year, the England and Lions sharpshooter kicked Eddie Jones' men to a second consecutive Six Nations. Get this man any kind of any object to hurl, shoot, or kick at zombies and they won’t have a chance to get near him with the kind of accuracy he boasts.
