I've watched enough rugby over the years to know one thing: fans love complaining about rugby almost as much as they love watching it.
I'm guilty of it as well.
The game has changed massively. Most of that change has been for the better. Players are fitter, the skill level is ridiculous and we're seeing things on a rugby pitch that would have looked impossible 20 years ago.
But some things are just annoying.
Caterpillar rucks. Four-minute TMO reviews. Scrum resets. Players waving their arms at referees.
Then there are things everyone complains about that I actually quite like.
So I've ranked 20 of the biggest complaints about modern rugby and decided which ones genuinely deserve the dreaded verdict.
Game's gone.
20. Celebrating scrum penalties
Never understood this complaint.
A prop spends all week preparing to get the better of the bloke opposite him. He finally folds him in half, wins the penalty and celebrates.
What's the problem?
Let the big lads enjoy themselves.
Verdict: Celebrate away.
19. Stadium DJs
This needs calming down.
We don't need music every time the ball isn't moving.
Try. Music.
Penalty. Music.
Substitution. Music.
Someone gets treatment and you're half expecting Sweet Caroline.
The best atmospheres in rugby don't need someone pressing play every 45 seconds.
Verdict: Game's gone.
18. Pre-planned substitutions
There was a time when being substituted usually meant one of three things.
You were injured, exhausted or having an absolute shocker.
Now a prop probably knows before kick-off he's coming off after 52 minutes.
I don't love it, but modern rugby is ridiculously physical. Expecting every forward to play 80 minutes isn't realistic anymore.
Verdict: Not bothered.
17. Players asking for decisions
Stop it.
This is one where I'll happily sound old-fashioned.
Rugby has always been proud of how players treat referees. We shouldn't throw that away.
No surrounding officials. No imaginary cards. No waving your arms around after every breakdown.
Captain speaks. Everyone else gets on with it.
Verdict: Game's gone.
16. Too much international rugby
I'm conflicted.
There is definitely an argument that international rugby feels more special when you don't see the same teams playing each other constantly.
Then Test season starts and I'll happily spend my entire Saturday watching three matches.
So I can't exactly complain.
Verdict: Ask me when there's no rugby on.
15. The death of proper tours
This one I genuinely miss.
Give me a three-week tour.
Give me a Tuesday night game against some regional side.
Give me a young player nobody has heard of producing a ridiculous performance and suddenly being talked about for the Test team.
Those tours had stories.
We're probably never getting them back.
Verdict: Game's gone.
14. Constant law changes
Can we just leave the sport alone for five minutes?
Player welfare changes are obviously different. If something makes rugby safer, we should look at it.
But the constant tinkering does my head in.
When people who watch rugby every single week don't understand why a penalty has been given, you've probably got a problem.
Verdict: Game's gone.
13. The bunker
I don't hate it.
There, I've said it.
If the alternative is watching a referee stare at a big screen for five minutes while 60,000 people stand around waiting, send it upstairs.
It isn't perfect.
It's still better than the alternative.
Verdict: Keep it.
12. Rolling mauls
Absolutely not.
Every so often somebody suggests getting rid of the maul because it's supposedly boring or impossible to defend.
Leave it alone.
Yes, it's slightly ridiculous that eight enormous men can create a moving wall around a rugby ball.
That's why I like it.
Not everything in rugby needs to make sense.
Verdict: Keep your hands off the maul.
11. Players switching countries
This one is difficult.
I completely understand players having genuine links to more than one country.
I also like seeing nations strengthened by players who genuinely want to represent them.
But international rugby has to be different from club rugby.
If players can move around too easily, you start losing some of what makes Test rugby special.
Verdict: Sitting on the fence.
10. Seven-one benches
I quite like the chaos.
South Africa looked at the laws, realised they could put seven forwards on the bench and basically said: why wouldn't we?
Fair enough.
If people don't like it, change the law.
You can't blame a team for finding an advantage within the rules.
Verdict: Don't hate the Springboks. Hate the law.
9. Rugby on social media
This is a dangerous one for somebody who runs a rugby website.
Everything is an argument now.
A tackle happens at 3pm and by 3:04pm there are 17 different slow-motion clips of it online.
Someone makes a harmless comment in an interview and it's a three-day debate.
But social media has also brought more people into rugby and given supporters a bigger voice.
And you're reading this online.
I'll shut up.
Verdict: We're all guilty.
8. Referees becoming the story
I hate finishing a brilliant Test match and spending the next two days talking about the referee.
But I'm not blaming the officials for all of it.
We're obsessed.
Every decision gets clipped. Every tackle gets slowed down. Every frame gets screenshotted.
Sometimes referees get things wrong.
Sometimes your team just lost.
Verdict: We might be the problem.
7. Kick tennis
Kick.
Catch.
Kick.
Catch.
Kick.
Catch.
Someone please run with it.
I understand exactly why teams do it. Territory matters and nobody wants to be the player who gets isolated inside their own half.
Still doesn't mean I enjoy watching it.
Then someone nails a 50:22 and I immediately change my mind.
Verdict: Annoying, but it stays.
6. Soft red cards
Nobody sensible wants rugby going backwards on player safety.
But we've all watched matches where a split-second collision has resulted in a red card and thought: really?
A red card can completely change a Test match.
The bunker and different red-card systems have helped, but I'm not convinced we've completely cracked it.
Verdict: Still needs work.
5. Scrum resets
I love scrums.
Properly love them.
What I don't love is watching the same one four times.
Crouch.
Bind.
Set.
Collapse.
Everyone stands up.
Referee gives a speech.
Repeat.
A dominant scrum is one of the best sights in rugby. Endless resets aren't.
Verdict: Fix it.
4. Overcomplicated laws
Ask five rugby fans what happened at a breakdown and you'll probably get six different answers.
Half the time I'm watching a replay waiting for the referee to explain what I've just seen.
That's fine for people who watch every week.
Try explaining it to someone watching their first rugby match.
You shouldn't need a law degree to work out why someone has just been penalised.
Verdict: Game's gone.
3. Endless TMO reviews
The TMO isn't the problem.
How we use it sometimes is.
Obviously we want the big decisions right.
But when a try has been scored, nobody has complained and we're suddenly watching something from four phases earlier at 0.25 speed, we've gone too far.
If you need 12 replays to find the offence, how obvious was it?
Verdict: Game's gone.
2. Caterpillar rucks
Nobody likes these.
I refuse to believe otherwise.
Yes, they're legal. Yes, there's a tactical reason for doing it.
I still don't want to watch three forwards form a queue behind a ruck so somebody can box-kick it.
One extra player? Fine.
Half the pack?
Get rid.
Verdict: GAME'S GONE.
1. The TMO finding something nobody noticed
This is the one.
Your team scores.
The crowd goes mad.
Nobody complains.
The players are already walking back towards halfway.
Then you see it.
Finger to the ear.
Here we go.
Suddenly we're travelling back in time looking for something that happened three phases earlier and nobody noticed when it actually happened.
Technology should stop howlers.
It shouldn't feel like we're desperately searching for a reason not to award a try.
If something obvious has been missed, correct it.
If you need a forensic investigation, play on.
Verdict: GAME'S ABSOLUTELY GONE.
Final verdict
Here's the thing.
I don't think rugby was better 20 years ago.
People look back with rose-tinted glasses and forget plenty of the rubbish.
The modern game is faster, more skilful and probably more entertaining when it's at its best.
But we don't half make things difficult for ourselves.
For me, caterpillar rucks can disappear tomorrow. TMO interventions need reining in and scrum resets desperately need sorting.
Seven-one benches? Fine.
Rolling mauls?
Leave them alone.
Rugby is allowed to be weird.
In fact, that's half the fun.
