How Sir Clive Woodward once tried to use Peter Crouch in a lineout

"Sir Clive Woodward was appointed technical director in 2005 and the local paper thought the best way to mark this occasion was to doodle a cartoon of Yours Truly being hoisted by two team-mates from a corner as if I was rising at a lineout. Fair play to them, very amusing," wrote Crouch in his column for the Mail Online.

"Clive — who allegedly believed we should be scoring from eight or nine corners out of 10 — has since said that he saw that cartoon and wondered if it was actually possible.

"I remember some chat that he had floated the idea around the club. He apparently asked if it was illegal. I’m guessing it isn’t. Presumably we’ll never know.

"I cannot believe I’m even discussing this, but the reason it wouldn’t work is that — as someone who has headed a few balls and scored from some of those — you need perfect trajectory. "

Woodward wrote: "Steward is a fearless giant who commands the airway but also has the football skills the modern day full back requires."

Woodward wote: "Slade is becoming the midfield fulcrum and boss for England"

Woodward wrote: "Smith is the real deal, a major talent and goal kicker of the first rank with nerves of steel. Quirke looks a real handful."

Woodward wrote: "Courtney Lawes had a fine series and led by example when asked to captain the side, Maro Itoje roamed to good effect as usual and the back row were tackling machines."