Rugby is a game full of huge characters, bizarre rules and quirky fans which all melds together to create some great banter.
Whilst this banter may result in some fantastic one-liners, here are 20 things you will NEVER hear a rugby player utter on or off the field.
1. "Should we just skip leg day"
2. “I’d rather enjoy my drink than down it.”
3. “I think you’re right ref, I will definitely have to go off for treatment”
4. “Do you have a cocktail menu?”
Pints, pints, and more pints please.
6. "I hate stash.”
All rugby players love stash.
7. "We should start being nice to other sports teams.”
8. “These initiations are out of order.”
9. “Tour is way too crazy for me.”
The tour is part of life and life is part of the tour.
10. “Shall we have a quiet one tonight?”
11. “Pub golf was pretty mellow last night.”
12." I don't like fancy dress."
Lies, lies, lies.
13. "I'm full."
Rugby players eat more than most.
14. “I can’t come out tonight because I am chilling with the other half.”
15. “Long journeys for away games are always really boring.”
16. “Does this shirt look a bit tight?”
17. “I’ve never had a protein shaker.”
18. “I love doing cardio in training”
No, no, no, no.
19. “Football is a lot tougher than rugby.”
Would be a total lie.
20. “No, Captain, I will not do what you say. You don’t own me.”
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- Jordie Barrett over Damian de Allende is far from being correct. The hype around Dupont is also overreaching, he's probably 4th in the world and has been since the 2023 WC. He also avoids certain matchups which is strange. The rest of the list is pretty good apart from minor subjective biases.JasonMarlow16-09-2026
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