The funniest definition of EVERY rugby position you’ve ever heard

Rugby can get a bad whack for being overly serious. Therefore, we hope our funny guide to positions will give you a laugh!

WINGER

For a winger to get the ball, almost every single other member of the team needs to have done something right and they all need to have done it consecutively. This happens almost as rarely as winning the lottery, so poor wingers need to wrap up their delicate frame in layers of Lycra, goose fat and fleece and hope that the referee’s final whistle blows before their fingers and toes snap off. Their bright boots remind us they’re there sometimes.

Gauge, Steven. My Life as a Hooker: When a Middle-Aged Bloke Discovered Rugby

CENTRE

Usually come in two varieties – hard charger or flitting fairy. The hard charger is the one to acquire as he will announce his presence in a game with the authority rarely found above #8. The flitting fairy is regrettably more common and will usually attempt to avoid contact at all costs. The flitting fairy is also only one good smack away from bursting into tears and leaving the pitch to cry on the shoulder of his inevitable girlfriend. Both types will have extensive collections of hair care products in their kit bags and will be among the best dressed at the post-game festivities.

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