Home > Ruck Life > 20 Rugby Jokes Every Rugby Fan Will Find Funny

20 Rugby Jokes Every Rugby Fan Will Find Funny

Some of the best and worst rugby jokes from around the world.

At Ruck.co.uk we love good banter, and nothing suits our personalities better than some cracking rugby jokes to bring a smile to our faces…check out this hilarious selection!
1. Warren Gatland takes Wales out for training and tells everyone to assume their normal position. So they all go and stand behind the goalposts and wait for the conversion.
2. Snow White was returning from town to the cottage in the forest where she lived with the 7 dwarfs. In the distance she could see smoke, then as she got nearer she realised that her cottage had burnt down. Frantically, Snow White searched the forest for the dwarfs, then she heard a a lone voice saying, “Scotland for the World Cup, Scotland for the World Cup, Wales for the World Cup.”
On hearing this chant, Snow White gave a gasp of relief as she knew that at least Dopey was safe.
3. Two Tongans, two Fijians, and a Samoan walk into a bar.
The barman says, well done on your selection for the All Blacks Rugby World Squad Cup, lads.
4. There’s a fine line between success and failure in international rugby. It’s called Hadrian’s wall.
5. Q. What do you call an Irishman holding a bottle of champagne after the Rugby World Cup Final?
A. Waiter.
6.  What do you call a Welshman in the World Cup final?! Nigel Owens.
7. Q. What do you call 15 guys sitting around the TV watching the Rugby World Cup final?
A. The Argentina Rugby team. 
8. Q. What is the greatest year in French rugby history?
A. Next year.
9. Once you’ve seen one rugby joke, you’ve seen a maul.
10. There’s no “I” in rugby. Unless…
11. Funny, but fact
12. I had a go at rugby the other day….I thought I was doing pretty well but all everyone kept saying was, “Nice try,”… Condescending bastards.
13. Your favourite sport says a lot about your life. For example: rugby has a breakdown every ten seconds, and so do I.
14. A rugby player goes to the physio and says “it hurts when I touch my arm, my chest or my leg”. The physio says “you’ve broken your finger”.
15. Local team of ghosts have taken up rugby. They are excellent at scoring drop ghouls.
16. Went to a rugby referee’s retirement recently. It was a good send off.
17. There’s a man sitting in the front row at the Rugby World Cup Finals, but amazingly, there’s an empty seat beside him. Another man spots it, goes up to him and says: “Do you mind if I sit here?”

“No, not at all,” replies the first man. “It’s my wife’s seat, but she died recently..”

“So why didn’t you get one of your family to come,” asks the second man out of curiosity.

“They’re all at the funeral.”

18. They’ve invented a new version of rugby where only people who wear glasses can play it. It’s a non-contact sport.
19. What do you call Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie and the rest of The Rebellion at the beginning of a rugby match? Rebel Scrum
20. Saved the worst for last…

If you have any other great rugby jokes that you’d like to share, simply leave a comment below and we’ll give you a shout out on our Ruck Facebook page!

3 Responses

  1. Kevin

    Good jokes…
    Also 43 kiwi rugby players and 7 kiwi coaches walk into a bar and the barman says ” well done on your selection for almost every rugby team in the world!!”

  2. Jeremy Slaney

    Two local rugby teams with a feisty rivalry are playing each other on a Saturday afternoon.
    On the day of the match, the weather conditions are absolutely appalling, and as the home team coach is addressing his team, he says.”Right, gentleman, because of the weather conditions, our main tactic today will be to kick ahead “.
    The burly cauliflower eared prop puts his hand up and says,” Anybody’s head in particular “?