The brilliant nicknames Joe Marler has for his teammates, including 'the unflushable turd' - Ruck

The brilliant nicknames Joe Marler has for his teammates, including ‘the unflushable turd’

Joe Marler has a brilliant section of his autobiography, detailing some of his favourite nicknames he has given to teammates down the years.

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To find out how the full story behind the nicknames, you can buy Marler’s book here.

#1. Joe Launchbury (Slosh, Sloshbucket, or Biscuit)

“He has the biggest arse in world rugby – and was forever knocking things over.”

#2. James Haskell (The Unflushable Turd, Rig City)

“Despite being embroiled in a number of off-the-pitch controversies over the years and falling foul of various regimes, the unflushable turd has repeatedly bounced back.”

#3. George Kruis (Shnooze or Shnoz)

“Because his chat is so boring it will make you fall asleep”

#4. Mark Lambert (Smug Pig)

“Not only did he act like he was all superior, he had a reputation for really, really enjoying his food.”

#5. Matt Cairns (The Bollock)

“Another simple one. He has a shiny bald head that look like a shiny, bald, bollock.”

The 33-man England Squad Steve Borthwick Should Select For Summer Tour

It’s been a decade since England’s last visit to New Zealand, a challenging 2014 series under Stuart Lancaster resulting in a 3-0 defeat.

The memories of the 2008 tour aren’t any sweeter, with England tasting defeat in both Tests against the All Blacks. However, a glimmer of triumph emerged in 2003, as they secured a thrilling 15-13 victory over New Zealand just before the Rugby World Cup.

In this highly anticipated tour, Borthwick’s squad will face a formidable challenge with only two tests against the All Blacks, following a clash with Japan in Tokyo.

Here is the list of our predicted squad organised by their current clubs:

RUCK’s England squad for the summer:


  • Joe Marler
  • Fin Baxter
  • Chandler Cunningham-South
  • Marcus Smith

Bristol Bears

  • Ellis Genge
  • Harry Randall
  • Gabriel Ibitoye


  • Jamie George
  • Theo Dan
  • Maro Itoje
  • Ben Earl
  • Elliot Daly