ENGLAND
Stereotypical Player: English rugby has been synonymous with a brand of rugby dubbed ’10 man’ essentially involving the forwards chasing down kicks from the half backs. The typical player is a privately educated centre who has all the talent in the world – but doesn’t get much of the ball. Probably has dated royalty and enjoys a beer.
Position: Centre
After he retires: Starts life as a pundit, talking about past glories whenever they have the chance, and competes on Celebrity Masterchef or Strictly Come Dancing or both.
FRANCE
Stereotypical Player: A changing creature, he used to be a raffish, compulsively unpredictable will o’ the wisp. Now he’s a bulky, stocky player who plays about 240 matches a year.
Position: Inside Centre
After he retires: Continues to smoke copious amounts of cigarettes and spends his time wrapped in a chic looking leather jacket, watching the Top 14 team he part owns huffing and puffing their way through another dreary but brutal encounter.
