‘Get the f--- down!’ - Three brilliant stories from James Haskell's new book

RUCK ME dives into some of his funniest sporting career stories to date, each tale more outrageous than the next.

Straight talking, articulate and not without Haskell's trademark wit, this book reveals all you've ever wanted to know - and probably more than you've ever wanted to know - about the antics of a professional rugby player.

The former England international revealed that Jones was one of his favourite coaches, and their banterous relationship started from their very first meeting.

Haskell wrote: "At the end of the meeting, Eddie said to me, ‘Hask, what’s your grip strength like?’ I replied, ‘Erm, it’s all right, I think. Why do you ask?’And he shot back with, ‘Because you’re f------ hanging on for dear life, mate’. Everyone started roaring with laughter and he kept on with that sort of stuff throughout that Six Nations.

"I’d play well and he’d say, ‘Hask, you’re doing all right, but you’re hanging on by a couple of fingers now’. Or he’d slam one of those green protein shakes down in front of me, while I was with some other lads, and say, ‘Hask, your training was s--- yesterday, mate. You were looking really f------ old. Get some vitamins into you’."

This is the story that led to Martin Johnson asking Haskell, 'Have you been sleeping with prostitutes?'

However, the way Haskell managed to dodge being in the story of the article printed by the News of the World is particularly great.

Haskell wrote: "...just as the boat was embarking, I looked over my right shoulder and saw the photographer from earlier swivel around in his chair with the most professional-looking telephoto lens I had ever seen. It looked like he was wielding a telescope, so I shouted to the lads up top, ‘Get the f--- down!’

"It was like we were about to be torpedoed, and it’s quite possible our careers would have been, had I not seen the photographer first, hit the deck and squeezed myself under the gunwale. Some lads saw what I was looking at and ducked down, others were too busy talking to women to be bothered about anything else.

"The boat left harbour with me lying down the side and my feet the only things on show."

The former England star had to take drastic action on return flight from the Lions tour to New Zealand in 2017

Haskell wrote: "One player who was known to be a nightmare on the p--- was living up to his reputation. He got so drunk that he was just climbing over seats and walking through all the lads’ business-class pods without a care in the world. He then thought it would be a good idea to practise his dive passing with rolled-up inflight magazines. 

"I gave him the spiked drink and he took it down in one. He then stumbled off down the aisle, knocking someone’s drinks off their table. It was like watching a toy run out of batteries. He got slower and slower, and quieter and quieter, until he started yawning, went back to his seat for what he thought was a moment and even though I could see him trying to fight the enveloping darkness, he eventually conked out and started snoring, with his mouth gaping and saliva running down his chin. 

"To this day, he doesn’t know I drugged him. He just woke up in the UK with little memory of what happened."