"I'm so sick of that sh**" - Joe Marler calls for immediate law change

You can read Marler's full brilliant manifesto by clicking here.

Marler said: The first thing I would do is ban the f***ing caterpillar ruck,’ he says. ‘It kills me. The whole thing is an a***. I would go as far as saying I’d ban box kicks but I might start to sound like Clive Woodward.

‘I want to see referees sanction the scrum-half for not using it when they shout “Use it”. I also want to get rid of the rule where the defence get the ball back if they hold you up and create a maul in the tackle.'

Marler said: ‘Rugby is definitely missing some sort of razzmatazz,’ says Marler. ‘We need a Drive to Survive type of show like Formula One. I thought that’s what CVC were going to do?

‘Can you imagine a raw, behind-the-scenes documentary of Eddie Jones? He’s an anarchist, isn’t he? He does what he wants.

Marler said: ‘The disciplinary system is completely baffling and completely bonkers and I think it could be a tad more consistent,’ says Marler.

‘Tomas Lavanini is the most carded player in the history of rugby and his ban was reduced recently because he conducted himself well at the hearing. Does that mean you just have to scrub up nicely and wear a nice suit?

Marler said: ‘I’d like to see Exeter change their branding from Chiefs to Chefs,’ he says. ‘The Exeter Chefs. It’s a small but sizeable change. I think it would be more culturally appropriate than continually p***ing off native Americans. The branding opportunities are endless — a skull with a knife and fork under it rather than a chief. They could have their own cooking range, too.’

Marler said: "‘The suicide rate in men, throughout society, shows that more has to be done. It’s not just a rugby problem. I’m not surprised there are no openly gay players in rugby given the environment over the years. They are 100 per cent out there. People’s sexuality isn’t a “story” but it would be a huge moment to hear someone say, “This is me, this is who I am, this is what I stand for”.'